So you think you might not be into casual sex? You are most certainly not alone! It has been said again and again in modern times that humans are not naturally monogamous, but this is simply not true -- at least, not across the board. The fact is that there is a broad spectrum of sexual orientations, and people can be totally monogamous or totally polyamorous, with every shade of innate preference in between. Is there a reason behind it? Perhaps.
It could be that you are simply genetically hard-wired that way, or perhaps your upbringing, family history, or religious or cultural background have had a hand in your sexual allegiance. Whatever your sexual wants and desires, it is important that you are honest to yourself about them; so long as they are healthy, by all means explore them, but try not to worry about them too much -- if you just aren't into casual sex, then find someone who feels the same way as you do; just don't expect anyone you fall in love with to change their own orientation.
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It is mostly the normal way of things for folk to have casual sex these days -- and that is fine for most people. We are not going to judge. It may seem that people having a lot of casual sex is the norm these days, but is it really, though? If you were to ask most young peeps these days if they are into casual sex, you may expect them to say yes, but in fact there are many young folk who are into waiting for the right person, and who still believe in things like monogamy and marriage. With so many movies and TV shows depicting casual sex as being the norm these days, you may be forgiven for thinking that it is normal, but it is not necessarily that way at all.
No, there is not anything wrong with you if you feel as though you are not that into casual sex because the truth is that quite a lot of people are also not really into it either. So take heart, because you are definitely not alone in this matter. In fact, as you read on you will start to see that it is not really that much of an issue, even though it may seem like a really big deal right now. There is nothing wrong with you at all if you are not into the idea of casual sex. It may be the way that you were brought up, or just your cultural background.
On the other hand, you may feel as if you are the odd one out when it comes to not being that into casual sex. Maybe all of your friends are into it. Maybe your boyfriend or girlfriend is into it. But if you are not into casual sex then that is up to you and it really does not mean there is anything wrong with you.
Go to a club or a festival. Go online. Use dating apps or use apps that will aim to match you with other people who want the same thing as you, such as to find out if they are into casual sex by hooking up with someone. In fact, you are already on just such a website, so you do not even have to look that far, do you! The best way to find out if you are into casual sex or not is to try it. Have sex with a person who also wants to have casual sex. It is really pretty easy to find people like this. You may just go into a bar, club, or even a sex club, or go to a festival or even a big event such as a gallery launch. There are so many hookup bars around the country, it really is very easy to fins a person who will be open to having casual sex with you if you want to.
Well, the most obvious answer is do not have a partner who enjoys casual sex if you don't. You and your partner should be on the same page, not different books altogether. However, we are well aware that it is not always that straight forward. You can't always help who you fall in love with, and it can be hard if your partner does not see the world the way that you do, or if he or she has very different ideas about love and relationships. But if it is in any way possible, if you do not want to have casual sex and your partner is carrying on with other people when you have expressly stated that you do not wish for them to, then dump their ass and move on.
1. The idea of having sex with someone you don't know stresses you out. If you feel that it is a stressful thought to have sex with someone you just do not love then chances are casual sex is just not for you, and that is really very okay.
2. The idea of your partner having sex with someone else stresses you out even more. Gosh -- if the idea of having sex with someone you do not love makes you feel icky inside, then the idea of your own partner having sex with a person who is not you might well do the same, but times like 100. This is another pretty clear sign that you do not really want to try casual sex, which is absolutely fine.
3. You tried it and didn't like it. It is one thing to say point blank that you are not into casual sex with having never tried it out before in the first place, but if you have that inside info on the topic -- that is to say, if you have already tried it, then you may already know just what it is that you are talking about. You may have tried casual sex before and just not liked it that much -- and that is totally fine.
4. You have deep religious feelings that preclude you from having sex willy nilly with strangers. A lot of people who are religious -- and let's face it, a whole lot more people who may not even think that they are that religious, but still hold some very deep moral beliefs -- have come to the conclusion that they are not into casual sex at all.
5. It just down right does not turn you on, period. It is one thing to be actively against casual sex, but in fact it is also okay to just not be interested in it from a sexual point of view. It may in fact be the case that you low key do not find it sexy, and that is completely fine.
1. A committed relationship. There is nothing quite like being in a loving set up in which you both know that you are not going to leave each other, but are instead full of the warm, happy feeling that you will always be there for each other. If you know that you are happy, then why change?
2. Staying in with a movie and snacks. Who needs this love stuff anyway? You can be single and loving it and have a great time just hanging out on your own... just keep telling yourself that! No really -- it is fine to be alone, and yo should be happy with your own company to some extent -- at least enough that you can hang out alone and not get upset about it -- every one does it at some time or another in their lives, and some people choose to be alone as a permanent way of life. And why not? Being able to do whatever the heck you want, whenever you want, is pretty cool, right? Yeah, of course it is.
3. Just being friends. You do not have to have casual sex, or indeed any sex. You can choose instead to just be friends. The great thing about this is that there are no strings attached, and that other person never gets to tell you what they want you to do.
4. Getting married. Or just go totally the other way and marry the person you are with. That way, ALL of your sex is under the blanket term of "married sex" which is actually very hot.
5. Joining a religious order. Okay, this is not for everyone, but let's be inclusive here, peeps. If you don't like casual sex, it may not be a huge leap of the imagination to suggest that you might not like sex at all. Now, while asexuality is definitely a new thing that is on the rise in pop culture, it does not mean that you have to up sticks and go be a monk or a nun, but for some godly folk, being asexual ad channeling your sensuality for life into ascetic pursuits can go hand in hand.
The simple answer is that no, it does not really matter at all if you are not really that int casual sex at all. You will find as you start to be more open and honest with yourself that you will start to meet other folk who have more or less the exact same point of view as you do. The fact is that the ideal of casual sex really is a big part of the current culture, so one of the very best ways you can start to feel better about not really being that into casual sex is to disconnect in some way from the current cultural norms that permeate modern life. Stop reading so much news, and stop watching so much TV that displays casual sex as being the norm. Books and movies are also a big part of getting the idea across that casual sex is the norm, so you can start to feel better by carefully vetting what you take in in terms of media.
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